Yesterday, I ran the NYRR Mini 10k. Similar to the Brooklyn Half, this was an anniversary race for me. I found the race very enjoyable last year, so I set out to run it again. Only this time, things were different for me.
I’m in the midst of some pretty major life changes. I’m trying to move out of my current place, find a place to move into, schedule an elongated visit to relatives, and say my goodbyes. In the past week, I think that I’ve slept a total of 24 hours. Apartment hunting could be considered a sport all in itself, especially when we’re talking about 120 year-old 6-7 floor walk ups with no elevators in sight. Leading up to the race, I walked many miles and climbed countless stairs in addition to my current workout program.
Because I wasn’t racing up those apartment stairs and running the 2 miles between buildings, I didn’t feel tired. I thought that my body was in decent shape for the race, give or take a few days of missed sleep.
But when I tried to speed up in the final mile, I couldn’t. I was truly giving all I had and I had no more to give. When I crossed the finish line and realized that I didn’t PR, I just knew. I knew that I was much more fatigued than I was willing to acknowledge. I thought that I could talk myself out of being tired, but I couldn’t. Actually, I’m not sure what I thought because I thought yesterday was June 10th until I received my medal and saw June 9th engraved on the back!
Instead of walking away upset, I took a different approach. I hung out with friends and I went to lunch. I realized that I couldn’t change my performance now that the race was over, so I could either sulk or be social and enjoy myself.
It would’ve been amazing to PR yesterday. But you know what’s also amazing? Having a body that can signal to me that it’s time to rest. If I had a bad race in the past, I didn’t always want to talk about it and I would usually find another race to register for right after. I’m trying to break the pattern of pushing myself to make up for my performance. Obviously, I’d like to run faster, but instead of trying to prove it to myself in the next 7 days, I should come up with a game plan for the next 7 weeks.
I don’t run because it’s easy. In fact, I would probably hate running if it were easy and I crushed every race. I need goals, something to work on, something to build to. I’ve learned that I can be dissatisfied with my performance while also thankful for the experience. Even though yesterday wasn’t a win for me, it has given me a lot to think about.
I’m going to be traveling soon, so my next project is going to figure out how to keep up running on the road. Any tips would be appreciated!