Whenever I was little and I said to my mom, “I wish it was Friday/Saturday” on a weekday, she would tell me to stop wishing my life away. I understand the importance of living life to the fullest, but this February, I’ve had a serious case of Sunday and Monday blues.

I even had Saturday blues! And Saturdays used to be my favorite day of the week. I would often wake up at 12pm or later on Saturdays, sleeping half the day and a quarter of my weekend away. I started dreading my long outdoor runs, which I used to look forward to.

It took me a while to figure out what happened. I was so engrained in stress and fatigue that I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what was or the cause of it. I’m running a half marathon in 3 months, so giving up on running was out of the question. I knew that. But somehow, it wasn’t enough for me to wake up early and enthusiastic anymore.

Everything changed this past Friday, when I witnessed bright sunlight and mild weather for the first time in months. I was excited again. I spent my 30-minute lunch break outside, something I haven’t done since October. I even left the office early and walked half of the way home, window shopping and taking in my surroundings. I went to bed early and woke up on Saturday for my long run. I put on a tank top and shorts and headed for the door. I ran at my fastest winter speed.

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After this weekend, I’ve come to a few conclusions. One, I don’t think New York for me. I’ve lived here for a little over a year and half now and I still feel like a visitor. An eternal guest. I never feel like I’m home. And I’m starting to think that I never will. I hate cold weather, crowds, loud noises and public transportation. Secondly, I don’t know if I’m a long distance runner. I’ve been running consistently for about 6 months now, and I never have a strong desire to go more than 7 miles when I’m not training. Thirdly and most importantly, now that I’ve realized what I do and don’t like, I need to make some changes.

I’m a die hard finisher. I hate committing to things and not following through. I’m registered for 2 half marathons this year, and I was planning on registering for another two, which I’ve decided not to do. I think I’m going to devote my energy to shorter races because I think I might enjoy that more. I’m even considering a duathlon or obstacle race. Who knows? I need something to feed my competitive side, whatever the race format may be.

I’ve never been much of a brainstormer. Ideas hit me at all times and in all places. I have the best epiphanies right as I’m drifting off to sleep or in the shower. Creativity can’t be planned. It just happens. And that’s kind of what happens with my recipe development process too.

I would try to devote time to testing out new recipes and it rarely worked out. I have to experience life and wait until I’m hit with inspiration. And that’s what happened when I was eating dinner at Catch a few weeks ago. I treated myself to sweet potato gnocchi, which was excellent! At that moment, I decided I was going to try to make my own gluten-free version. Ambitious? Yes. Impossible? Definitely not.

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I had some Pizza Crust Mix on hand from Namaste Foods. I decided that would be my staple and I picked up my favorite white sweet potatoes from Whole Foods. I followed this super simple gnocchi recipe and in 10-15 minutes, I had my own gnocchi! I topped it with nooch, garlic powder, onion powder, diced tomatoes, and a fried egg. The entire meal was so delicious.

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Despite that February is the shortest month of the year, I’m ready for it to be over. I’m already looking forward to spring, which means warm weather and longer days! I won’t be going to work and coming home in the dark anymore! That being said, I’ve learned a few things month. A little bit of light can go a long way.

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